By Tom Lancaster
Maarike had lived her whole life in Finland. She had lived a good life, but there was something that didn’t feel right to her. For some reason she couldn’t get inspired by any of the things people in Finland did. In the short northern summer, the drinking on patios and short breaks to cabins felt cliche’d and uninspiring.
As she entered middle age, she began to get itchy feet. Surely there was something more. She never viewed herself as an adventurous person, but something in her soul was pulling at her. She was like Frodo in the shire, happily going about her business until Gandalf showed up and ruined the enjoyment of second breakfast.
The dark night of the soul
Despite not being an adventurous person, Maarike sold everything she owned and got on a plane to Germany. And then the problems began.
Her friends and family were confused. “Why are you leaving us? What are you running away from?” They asked.
Maarike didn’t have an answer, she wasn’t running away from anything, instead she was following the pull from within. An intuitive knowing that this was important. An unknown call to something greater.
Then, in Germany things became really tough. She landed up in a touristy student town, and finding accommodation as an older foreigner was both difficult and expensive. She spent a year moving around to various cities and towns, struggling to find meaning to it all. What was her purpose? Why was this important?
From her position of need, she found herself in some challenging relationships, and without going to to too much detail, that year was not one that she would have wished for herself.
And. It was the most beautiful year of her life.
A New Self-Image
By plunging herself into a new situation – with a new language, new culture, a new way of life, by changing her context and forcing herself to be uncomfortable, something magical happened.
Despite all the challenges she faced, Maarike suddenly felt safe, in a way that she never had in Finland. The change of context and the fact that no-one knew her story allowed her to see herself from a different perspective. Suddenly she was able to see how some of her childhood experiences had led to certain beliefs about the world that were holding her back, preventing her from fully expressing herself.
Eventually she found her place. She found the town she feels she can live in for the rest of her life. She found a new flow, and a new determination to be all that she could be. Now that she could see the patterns, she could begin the work to unwind and rewrite them. To reinvent herself.
She found freedom to be who she truly is, freedom from the stories and beliefs and patterns of her past. She realised that her entire reality had been shaped around these childhood beliefs, and without the change of context it was impossible to see.
The new safety Maarike felt was a safety that came from within. Despite her external environment becoming much more challenging in the short term, internally she was beginning to remember herself.
Adventure as a gateway to the soul
Remember – Maarike is not an adventurous person. Yet when the call to adventure came, she jumped onto that boat with Gandalf and said goodbye to the shire.
This is a true story, and while it is not my story, it is also my story. I experienced all of these things when I followed my inner calling to move to Vancouver, in my own way. I found my purpose by taking a leap into the unknown. I began to remember who I am.
When we go on any adventure, into the wilderness, into a new career or relationship, or simply away from the life we know, we step into the unknown. Our soul has room to breathe, free from the constraints we have spent our lives unconsciously constructing around ourselves. We see things from a different perspective, we learn things about ourselves. We discover resources we never knew we had.
We will inevitably encounter discomfort, challenge, fear and doubt. But these are the experiences that shape us, that allow us to remember who we are.