Listening for INSIGHT vs. listening for AGREEMENT

When you listen to someone talk, read something that someone shares, or attend a workshop or event, are you listening for insight? Or are you listening for agreement?

So often, we listen to others for an opportunity to respond – I agree with you, I disagree with you. I like what you said. I dislike what you said. I have something interesting to contribute, or what I have to say is more important than yours.

When we read a book or an article, we either agree with it, or we don’t. The information that is provided either fits with our worldview, and we accept it, or it doesn’t, so we reject it.

In so doing, not only do we miss the opportunity for connection, but we also miss out on any opportunity for INSIGHT.

In the dictionary, insight is defined as ‘an instance of apprehending the true nature of a thing, especially through intuitive understanding’ and ‘penetrating mental vision or discernment; faculty of seeing into inner character or underlying truth.’

Insight, as the word suggests, is an inside job. No one can ‘give you’ insight, just as no one can ‘give you ‘ inspiration. And when we can let go of the need to be correct, to agree or disagree, we open ourselves to a world of possibilities.

When you listen for INSIGHT, it doesn’t matter if you agree or not. It doesn’t matter if you like what is shared, are offended by it, or really how you feel about it at all.

When you listen for INSIGHT, you are curious about the ways you view the world that might be clouded by your beliefs, judgments, and past experiences.

When you listen for INSIGHT, you are open to the possibility that there might be a different lens through which to see the world, that reality might not be as concrete as you believe it to be.

When you listen for INSIGHT, learning, growth, expansion become possible.

When you listen for INSIGHT, there is no right or wrong. There is only an opportunity for new understanding, connections, and wisdom to emerge.

When you can put down your attachment to responding, to listening only to those you agree with, or those whose opinions you admire, trust or value; when you allow yourself to listen to voices with whom you disagree; with values that are different from yours; with experiences and beliefs and knowledge that differ from yours;
And when you can do so from a place of curiosity, from a place of ‘what can I learn here?’, ‘What might I be wrong about?’ or ‘What am I getting for me from this?’ that is when your life will start to change.

What’s one insight you’ve had from reading this?