By Tom Lancaster
I’m in an intensive right now with a group of quite extraordinary coaches. A group of people who are real change-makers in the world. It is changing my world and changing who I show up as. It is changing what I see as possible, and who I see myself becoming. I want to share a couple of stories that came up in the discussion today and my take on what they mean to me. I hope that this will be valuable in helping you step into your genius and create wonder and amazement in your world!
“Class aptent taciti sociosqu ad litora per conubia nostra, per inceptos himenaeos .Aenean non turpis vitae ligula tristique sagitt isras varius erat pulvinar eros pretium”
In 2001, Frédéric Brochet, then a PhD candidate at the University of Bordeaux II in Talence, France, was awarded the runner up position in Amorim Academy’s annual competition to crown the greatest contribution to the science of wine, for a dissertation he submitted that, in the words of real clear science, lit a fire under the seats of wine snobs everywhere.
He put red dye into white wine, and served it up to 54 wine experts, and asked them to reflect on the wine. Not only did no-one identify the wine as white, but they described it using terms that were not congruent with white wine, and some even went as far as to propose what grape, vintage and even vineyard the ‘red’ wine came from. Their perception of what the wine was, the taste, the composition, was set simply by looking at the colour of the wine in the glass, which caused a huge controversy in the world of wine tasting, with its blindfold taste tests and sommeliers being paid tens if not hundreds of thousands for their ability to distinguish between different wines. If these experts couldn’t even identify the difference between white and red wine, was the entire industry a joke?
The second story i’d like to share is about a couple of filmmakers who went to a gourmet food expo, claiming to be restauranteurs. They said they had developed an organic alternative to fast food, when in fact, on the way to the expo, they had stopped off at McDonalds and bought a handful of burgers. They cut the burgers into small chunks, and served them up with cocktail sticks in them, and the response from the foodies was overwhelming — they talked about the difference in mouth-feel, flavour, the fact that the ‘organic’ burger was less sticky and tasted ‘cleaner’ and more ‘wholesome.’ In this case the experts were fooled simply by a story and a toothpick.
As high performers, we are constantly comparing ourselves to other people — we compare what we see on the outside (their success) with how we feel on the inside (not nearly as successful) and we assume that we need to do more, be more, achieve more. But really it is just a matter of presentation. It’s very likely that the person you compare yourself to feels like a Mcdonalds Hamburger with a toothpick in it even though what you see is the gourmet organic version. We all feel inadequate on the inside, while looking extraordinary on the outside, you included. It is not inadequacy, but the comparison of our inner feelings to how we perceive others makes us feel that we will never be good enough, that we will never stand out or compete. We will never achieve our goals. I invite you to reflect on this honestly, and examine what other people admire about you. Make a list of everything you do that is badass. Think about all the things that you could do that would be badass that you DON’T DO, because you are worried that you might fail or you might be judged for doing them. How would other people perceive you if you DID do those things?
Impossible Goals vs Tiny Goals
If you’re still reading, you’re probably familiar with impossible goals. Maybe that’s part of the reason you aren’t doing all the epic shit that you know you are here to do. Your goals are SO bold, SO audacious, SO unheard of, that they could never possibly succeed. Almost everybody has at least one impossible goal, but here’s the thing — almost NOBODY does anything about their impossible goal, because, well, it’s impossible.
But the beauty of an impossible goal is that you can take action towards it without attachment to the outcome. It’s impossible to do this thing, so failure is inevitable. So why not throw a penny into the wishing well and write that letter to Richard Branson? Or reach out to that CEO of that Fortune 500 company? Or whatever it is that MIGHT take you closer to your impossible dream? You’ll be amazed what you can achieve by simply asking for it! The trick is not to be attached to the outcome.
The opposite is also true. If the goal is so tiny, so insignificant, that failure isn’t an issue, then it is very easy to be committed without attachment. What tiny, easy goal(s) can propel you towards that impossible goal? The result of a lot of little achievements isn’t little!
What opportunities are you missing because you are simply stepping over the ripe fruit?
We’ve all heard the phrase ‘low hanging fruit’. Those things that are within reach, that don’t take too much effort. As a high performer, you may not be interested in the low hanging fruit, the easy option. You want to chase bigger things, impossible dreams, more daring adventures. And there is power in that. But there is also a huge potential for missed opportunity.
When fruit is ready to eat, it drops from the tree. It is even more accessible and easy to get to than the low hanging stuff. And we walk right over it because the story we tell ourselves is that life needs to be hard. Because if something isn’t hard, it isn’t worth doing, right?
We have this image of mouldy, rotting apples or plums lying on the floor, but that is not how those fruits fall from the tree. They rot and decompose because they are ignored, forgotten about. How many ideas have you not taken action on because they seem too simple, or because they seem beneath you? How many opportunities have you missed as a result of not picking the ripe fruit at the exact moment it is ready to be consumed? What if your complex, impossible goal was just a matter of being alive to the opportunities that are right in front of you that you might otherwise pass up?
The Clarity Tool
When we have big, audacious goals, it can be overwhelming. I get it. I am well versed in the paralysis of the infinite, that crippling cocktail of bewilderment, anxiety and self-doubt that leaves you staring at your instagram for hours beating yourself up about not doing anything. I know you are too. But fear not, I’m here to help.
These four simple questions are so powerful. They can literally propel you like a slingshot towards your dreams. If you spend some real time going deep into each one of these questions, I can pretty much guarantee you will find an insight that will catalyse you into action.
- Where are you now?
It is important to establish a baseline. Take a good honest look at your situation as it stands, right now, in your business, the level of adventure in your life, your relationships, your health? How do you REALLY feel about where you are? - Where do you want to be?
Go forward in time 12 months, and imagine it has been the best 12 months you could possibly imagine. Everything you have imagined has been a rip-roaring success. Where is your business, your bank account, your relationship, your health now? What have you achieved? Who have you become? - Why are these goals important?
As Simon Sinek will tell you, if you’re not connected to your why, you’re pushing water uphill. Why is it important to YOU to achieve the things you’ve outlined in question 2? And more importantly, why are those REASONS important to you? - What Capabilities do you need to make these goals a reality?
Even impossible goals can be broken down into manageable chunks. Who do you need to know to achieve them? What do you need to do to meet that person? Who do you need to BE to achieve them? What is the ripe, freshly fallen fruit that you can just pick up? What is the toothpick you need to present yourself authentically?
Your impossible goal is closer than you imagine. You are more capable than you imagine. You got this, and more. And if you’d like some help, I’d love to chat!