Today, I am publicly calling myself out.
You see, I love writing every day. It’s been a little over 2 weeks, and the difference this new habit has made to my life has been incredible.
The sense of achievement that comes from publishing something before breakfast each day
The responses and interactions that come from each post
Reaching new people I can support
Having a space for new ideas to show up
And much more…
But here’s the thing. I haven’t written anything for four days.
I decided I would ‘be kind to myself’ and ‘give myself a break’ over Christmas.
And the little momentum I had was stopped dead.
MOMENTUM
What happens if you park your car at the top of a hill, but forget to put the parking brake on?
You get out of the car, and notice it starting to roll, but at this point you can easily stand in front of the car and hold it while someone gets in and applies the brake.
However once it has been rolling for 10 metres, it’s very unlikely you’d fare well trying to stop it.
By the time it gets to the bottom of the hill, it will smash through entire buildings.
A new habit is just like that car..
At the beginning, it is very easy to derail. Whether it’s writing, fitness, meditation, making your partner feel loved every day, or being present to what you are feeling…At first it takes much more effort to keep on track than it does to go back to the old patterns.
In fact, to get the car rolling in the first place, you have to push it to overcome the inertia and get it moving at all.
My plan for yesterday was to write this article. About consistency. To call myself out for missing 2 days and the impact it had on my motivation.
But nothing got written. Excuses wormed their way in.
“I’ll get to it this afternoon”
became
“If I’m going to write about how lack of consistency derailed the project, what’s another day?”
which became
“God you’re such a fucking loser…”
And so on.
All the good feelings about the previous 2 weeks of writing evaporated, and the gremlins (come back tomorrow if you want to know about gremlins ) started having a field day.
There was not enough momentum yet, and so taking a few days off ‘to be kind to myself’ actually ended up having the opposite effect.
Now I find myself, mentally, almost at the beginning of the project.
It feels like I have to start it all again, to get back into the groove.
Whereas I could quite easily have taken 20 minutes to write something short each day and kept that momentum, all the good feelings, and everything that comes with it.
SUPPORT STRUCTURES
For many, particularly entrepreneurs who crave freedom, the idea of structure can feel claustrophobic, stifling, oppressive.
We want to be free to do what we feel called to do, when we feel called to it.
We don’t want to be tied down.
I lived in Qatar for a few years, working as a producer for a production company there.
It was a great job with a great company, but doing business in Qatar was next to impossible.
I remember once waiting for an appointment, and there was another gentleman in the reception area. He had obviously been there for some time, and was getting quite agitated about the fact that his meeting wasn’t happening.
He went to speak to the receptionist and let her know that he was supposed to meet the sheikh at 10am, and it was now nearly 11am.
The response from the receptionist made me laugh.
She giggled and said “You white people with your schedules. You always want to meet at this time or that time, but what happens if Mr. Akbar is busy then?”
Now I don’t know what this meeting was about, but it could have been something that would have greatly benefitted Mr. Akbar, which he could have missed out on.
He didn’t want to be tied down by a schedule, preferring to meet who he pleased when he pleased, which made it impossible for anything to get done.
I had entire film projects derailed because some important interviewee decided he didn’t feel like working that day.
For these people who felt like they were too important for other people’s schedules, there were significant consequences.
But as adventurers, entrepreneurs, and freedom seekers ourselves, we all sabotage ourselves in the name of freedom, somehow.
And the paradox is that the support structures we put in place actually set us free.
For me, the support structure looks like a set time every day where writing is my focus, and a promise to publish every day.
For you, it might look like having an accountability partner, a coach, or a gym buddy.
These things are the scaffolding that allows the building to be created.
As 2020 comes to an end, and we throw our focus forward to 2021, here’s a 3 step exercise for you to do, if you feel like making 2021 a year for the record books.
I’d give yourself an hour to do this properly.
SCAFFOLDING EXERCISE
1. Write out your dream year. What does the perfect year look like for you? What do you want to achieve? Who do you want to become? How do you want to grow?
Be creative here. Think impossible goals. Things you can’t even dream of making a reality. 7 figures. Writing and publishing a book. Impacting 100,000 people. What would blow your mind if you could achieve it?
2. What are the support structures that you need to put in place that will allow you to be consistent? Do you need to put a time in your calendar each day/week. Do you need to hire someone? Do you need to make a public announcement that you can’t go back on?
For each item on list 1, there are things you can put in place to support you in the achievement of that goal.
If I want to learn the saxophone for example, I could pay up front for a year of lessons. That way I’m much more likely to show up.
3. TAKE ACTION
Now you have a plan to achieve your dream year. so put it into action. Pay for those saxophone lessons. Put that time in the calendar and schedule everything else around it. Find and hire that person.
Because it’s not enough to write a list of all the accomplishments you want to have. To make a vision board with pretty pictures. To sit in meditation and manifest like crazy.
These are all important things, but you need to take action, you need to be consistent. And to be consistent you need to be supported.
If you want to build a house, you need to build a scaffold.