When was the last time you played with curiosity?
When was the last time you made space for you most powerful expressions, those of our deep desires, the ‘truths’ that lie hidden, buried underneath the persona you slap on like make up every day before you go out into the world?
All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake up in the day to find it was vanity, but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act upon their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible. — T.E. Lawrence
A female client of mine, who is in one of the most loving, exciting, and fulfilling heterosexual relationships I know of, said this to me during our session today.
“I want to have a love affair with a woman”
I was playing a curiosity game with her. It starts with the question — “what do you want?” Followed by “what else?” And then, “what else?”
I find that this is a really powerful tool for digging down into what someone really, REALLY wants.
She started with the usual — $50k/month, for her business to become really successful, to play more and so on. And I kept asking “what else?”
Suddenly we got into the juicy stuff. I love it when this happens. It’s like a portal opening up into the future. I can SEE my client jump onto a new timeline. One where their deepest dreams are not impossible, but improbable, probable or even likely.
It’s important to note here that she has read this post and given her permission to share this. Because now we were talking about buying the most expensive underwear just because. About her desire to not own anything. About freedom. A life of sultry magical possibility.
And then, in the middle of this magical conversation, magic happened. My client stopped dead. She couldn’t say what wanted to come out. It didn’t make sense to her…
“I want to have a love affair with a woman.”
As soon as she said it, (or should I say stuttered and blabbered her way through it?) her rational brain kicked in. The part that says you can’t have what you want. The survival mechanism that keeps you from sticking your head above the parapet and going for what you really want in life.
“Is that true?” She asked. And then the REAL gold of the moment.
“I want to want things without needing them to be true.”
As soon as her rational brain tried to hijack the creative process, the process of dreaming, she caught it, and unlocked a new piece of gold.
This conversation, by the way, was about her inability to dream. This client is a CEO, an artist, a writer, a witch, and a caster of story spells. She lives in a beautiful house overlooking the Pacific Ocean sunset, and lives life on her own terms. She has created an extraordinary life. Any yet she still had a story about being unable to dream.
Dreaming, daydreaming at least, is wanting things without needing them to be true. It’s trying things on for size, energetically. It is allowing yourself to play in the future. It’s trying on the fancy underwear before you buy it, seeing how it looks, how you feel wearing it, who you are if you have it.
Maybe she really, truly, does want an affair with another woman. Maybe she doesn’t. That is irrelevant. In that moment, this powerful creator allowed herself to DREAM. And the result of that dream is an insight that will stay with her forever.
I can want things without needing them to be true.
In the end, this woman who didn’t know how to dream had a list of over 30 dreams, some tangible, some less so, and the whole process took less than 15 minutes. Her context about who she is has changed forever. This woman who doesn’t know how to dream can finally see that she has ALWAYS been a dreamer.
So what do you really, really want?
What else?
What else?
Find out more about Tom at www.altitudeevolution.com
Get in touch at Tom@altitudeevolution.com
Thanks for reading!