Letting Go of Control

One of the things I love about climbing is how it forces me to relax.

This sounds counter-intuitive, right? Climbing is a high-adrenaline, super dangerous, thrill seeking sport, right?

Let me explain.

Something I see all the time in beginner climbers, and even in experienced climbers, myself included, is that when the difficulty level goes up, the grip tightens on the hand holds.

The climber subconsciously translates the fear of falling off into a tighter grip.

“The harder I squeeze this hold, the less likely I am to fall”

It seems like sound logic at first, but it is flawed.

Because the harder I squeeze that hold, the less I relax and go with the flow.

The harder I squeeze that hold, the more energy I have to consume to stay on the wall.

The harder I squeeze, the more likely I am to fall.

Conversely, when I can train myself to apply just the right amount of effort to each move, suddenly the impossible climb becomes manageable.

This is constant work of someone who wants to climb harder routes, but there are lessons for all of us in this metaphor.

POWER

In his book, The Rock Warrior’s Way, Climbing trainer Arno Ilgner talks about ‘Power sinks’ and ‘Power leaks’, both of which diminish our personal power.

He describes power as ‘the ultimate goal of the warrior’. Not conventional power – power over others through money or influence, but personal power.

The ability to challenge ourselves, do things we thought impossible, take risks.

We all have generous helpings of personal power, but we waste it.

We cling to the wall (metaphorical or real!) for dear life, imagining that we are creating safety for ourselves but in reality we are frittering away our power.

When we find ourselves outside our comfort zone, in whatever arena of life, we face our ego head on.

The ego wants things to stay the same, in the known. It “goes to great pains to maintain the fiction of a constant, unchangeable self.”

So when we challenge ourselves, the ego kicks back, digs in its heels and says, “Really? You want to fight about this?”

And suddenly we are drowning in negative self-talk.

In climbing, we worry about whether we can maintain our grip on these tiny holds. What happens when we fall – will the gear hold the fall? What will I land on?

In life, it’s “what will this person think of me?,” “I have nothing to say that is of value,” “I don’t trust my skills,” “If I communicate my needs, then I’ll upset the other person” and so on.

When we worry about these things, we don’t push ourselves to the point we really find out what we are capable of.

We sink our power “into mental activities like bolstering the Ego and maintaining a fixed self-image”, and allow it to leak into “ineffective mental habits, limiting self talk, reactionary behaviour or hoping and wishing behaviour.”

And the result? we cling on for dear life and fall off anyway.