Today I heard three powerful stories. Stories of survival, of struggle, of coming through adversity.
It was in a small group session at the coaching intensive I’m at, and I was gripped.
I shared my story too, with all the mess, the potholes, the struggles.
And it was also powerfully received.
It made me think about how many people live by the rule of not bringing personal life into work.
How many people feel that they are best served by having a professional face for work, that is squeaky clean.
That it’s in their best interest to leave the mess behind the closed doors of home.
Here’s the thing though.
Your mess IS your message.
What you have been through in your life is who you ARE.
So what’s your story?
Here’s mine.
I had a very privileged childhood.
I never wanted for anything growing up, or so I thought.
I lived in the sunshine of the middle east, I went to one of the most prestigious schools in the UK.
I never tried at school, and was disappointed when I got anything less than an A.
I had access to sports, music, art. I went on holidays all over the world, skiing, trekking, safari, you name it.
BUT….
By the time I was 7 I had lived in 4 countries and been to three different schools
At 9 I was sent to boarding school half way across the world and began a ten year career of being bullied.
At 12 my parents divorced.
Between the age of 9 and 21 I was never in the same country for more than three consecutive months.
The result?
I never felt safe.
I had no idea what home meant.
I trained myself not to feel ANYTHING, because it wasn’t safe to do so.
I concluded that I must be unlovable, that there was something wrong with me.
I felt lost.
I found safety in the mountains of Wales. I found my map.
Learning to climb, kayak and mountain bike allowed me to discover what it meant to be in control.
For the first time in my life, it was up to me. I could be free.
I started to feel at home in myself.
Adventure showed me how everything I believed about the way the world worked was just stories I had made up in my head, because I needed to survive.
Adventure taught me that I am capable of more.
It taught me who I AM.
It taught me my MISSION.
And now, BECAUSE of all of that, not in spite of it, I am here, today.
BECAUSE of those experiences, I have learned the skills to help people navigate the inner and outer adventures of life
BECAUSE of those experiences, I am the best person in the world to help you move from feeling lost to being on a great adventure.
BECAUSE of those experiences, I am the best person in the world to help you navigate the liminal space between ‘here’ and ‘there’.
Not in spite of them.
So having read my story, my question is this…do you want to work with me more or less than before? Do you feel more or less connected to me as a human? Do I have more or less authority than before you read this?
So what’s your story? What makes you, you?
What is it about that encounter with your teacher when you were 4 (mine shamed me in front of the class), or that mean girl in your class, or that accident or illness that you overcame that makes YOU the best in the world at what you do?
What could be possible if you shared your mess(age) with your people?